+Hindi Siya Naunawaan+

title: + Hindi Siya Naunawaan+

English title: +He Was Not Appreciated+

Size: 24”x 36”

Medium: Oil On Canvas

Place in Contest: some where in the 100 finalists of the National Shell Art Competition.

Awarding: October 25, 2005

Exhibited at: 2nd Floor, Activity Center Bldg. A, SM Megamall, EDSA, Mandaluyong City.

Exhibition: October 25 -31, 2005

Purpose: an entry for the National Shell Art Competition. And for EiYa and me.

Elapsed time: 2-3 weeks

Current location: Manila, My room, at the ceiling.

Artist’s Comments: this painting was inspired from the music of Pachbell D (hope I got the spelling right.) the music moved me when I was painting and was about to give up, plus an enery called BACCUS. Thanks to that and EiYa’s Love, she believed this painting had a place somewhere in the contest, well I didn’t believed that, I believed that she Loves me. Hehe.


Meaning: imagine the pain before christ’s death. Could it be a pain you can endure, for one thing, pain is something to be loved. It is with pain that we feel, we Love and we die. If not for pain, we can all be dead earlier than we think, I don’t mind that either but for some it is not appropriate. I like pain,,, alright, I Love it. I love it for that reason alone, and maybe another reason is that pain is something that reminds me of a feeling that I can get inspiration from. Anger, hate, seduction, fear and rage. Thus, I am proud to portray christ’s ultimate sacrifice of himself to pain. If anyone would inflict it, it would certainly be felt by someone. I admire the pain, but I am not humored at christ’s pain here, it is hard for him therefore it was his hell for 12 hours. He climbed the mountain half dead and wished that it would end, but it got greater by the second, it never stopped, much like the bleeding. This was holy blood… or was it..

I believe that when jesus says he’s the son of god, I think we are all sons of god, he was not someone special, to think, he was just a man like all of us, yes, he may have cured, but he died and felt pain, he was man, and we all are, therefore we can be tortured and not give up from all that pain, and carry and die with the cross, do his sacrifice for sin. And maybe, that is the ultimate way for us to see paradise, the only sure way to die and live again. Yes, it is you fear in the end that will be your final test..

The greatest thing about my skinned paintings is that, you can also feel their pain as you look at them. Yes, for me, the ultimate pain is to be skinned alive, I might not be prepared for it now, but maybe, in my insanity I will be and yes, willingly do it to myself if I really loose it in the name of Love, art and pain.

Jesus is dead, you can see his wounds, forever they will stay as wounds, for they will never heal from anything, skin nor flesh.

He bleeds eternally. Forever his blood will spatter, and everything , anything that touches him will die without sin.

Hi thorns are red, not only with blood but with sweat and hair, as if the roots of the thorns ripped through his skull and sipped the blood into the veins of the vine.

His mother, not saying a word, weeps for his son, cries with blood, and her beaten eyes are black of sorrow, but her eyes do not symbolize hate, fear and anger, she is pure, as pure as a cotton once it blooms and be used..

she is his mother, can only weep for him, and carry him where he will not feel pain and sin, but only sorrow, yes,, he is taken to heaven.

There are these two dog skulls, one stays as a dog skull, the other weeps like a true believer, for the first one, will commit the sin, carry his cross, die at the cross and will never see the light again in hell. But for the other. The other would have committed the sin, carries his cross, and weeps and repents his sin at the last moment, and he will be invited into paradise.. for his darkest hour is his best hour, realizing this saves him not his life but everything you cannot attain in life.

The sky is red, it was not blue and purple like the night, nor was I black like an eclipse, it is, for punishment, meant for those who punished the man for a minute an immortal after three days.

Pain, pain is something we fear, I fear my ultimate pain, but in time, in my darkest hour, may it be death or torture, I shall embrace it, not thinking of any one that cares for me, for that will be greater than the ultimate pain, seeing you cry, makes me die. And that tops it all off…


I hoped you like my expression and explanation of this art work. Thank you!

check out the scraps for a picture of me in the exhibit.





This is for EiYa, for truly believing.. iLoveYou.